


Nobody Else Will

by Samorn



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-24
Updated: 2014-05-24
Packaged: 2018-01-26 07:50:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1680497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samorn/pseuds/Samorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepherd never went through the events of Mass Effect, it was all part of a simulation used in training Spectres. A collection of chapters (drabbles?) regarding an idea that came to fruition about two years ago; will be updated sporadically.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted (the first four parts) on my roleplay tumblr (http://samorn-shepard.tumblr.com/).
> 
> The work is unbeta'd and I have a terrible habit of transitioning between past/present tense. I doubt I will ever fix the mistakes, this is just to have it in a more permanent place so maybe I'll actually update it more.

> _She stands on the platform, she’s not quite sure where she is. But she has to make a choice, doesn’t she? She always does. It’s all about choices. Choices that impact her future, choices that impact her friends, everything always has reprecussions._
> 
> _So what’s left?_
> 
> _She can feel something, something tugging. At what, her brain? She’d scoff if everything didn’t already hurt. But somehow the pain isn’t… there. She doesn’t feel it, but her body does._
> 
> _She knows she doesn’t have much time left._
> 
> _She’s made her choice._
> 
> _She realizes she’d already started walking, walking to the fork in the road. Blue, green, red. Something’s not right; those colours don’t make sense. She hopes she hasn’t made the wrong choice as she limps up the right platform._
> 
> _Her knees shake and she collapses, teeth digging into her bottom lip as she struggles. She has no strength left to get up._
> 
> _"Don’t let us down now, Shepard,"_
> 
> _They all whisper, they all talk to her. She can hear them. She can feel them all around her, their strength pouring into her and she dimly wonders if it’s because they’re all dying too._
> 
> _She gets up, pistol raised. Six bullets are fired, a step taken with each shot._
> 
> _Blinding white light explodes around her._

"Shepard? Shepard, don’t move just yet. You’ve been in a coma for about a year, your body isn’t in the shape it used to be,"

A voice talks to her, sounding vaguely familiar. Blinking, she tries to raise her head and groans. Her entire body strains in protest and so she lays back down. She can hear the soft tapping of talons on an omni-tool? As her vision adjusts, she can make out a shape.

"Nihlus?"


	2. Part II

The turian looks at her, his expression unreadable.

"What happened? I…"

He moved from where he was standing, his shadow cast over her. He’s reading off of his omni-tool and she’s not sure if that’s good or bad.

"You’re not dead,"

He says finally, and she’s briefly relieved. Briefly because if she’s not dead then where is she? She hadn’t survived the explosion, or if she did then she was in some fucked up kind of hospital where Nihlus was still alive.

Or she assumed it was Nihlus, maybe it was just a turian who looked like him. Facial markings weren’t something that she was adept at reading.

"Where is everybody? What-"

She was cut off as he leaned in, examining her with delicate precision. She could feel him touching her, feel him lifting her legs to help her sit up. She wiggled her toes out of habit and looked at him.

He was watching her cautiously.

"Congatulations,"

She was about to ask why he was congratulating her until he typed something into his omni-tool and a hologram of the council popped up.

> _It is the decision of the council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel. Spectres are not trained, but chosen. Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle— those whose actions elevate them above the rank and file. Spectres are an ideal, a symbol, the embodiment of courage, determination, and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the council, instruments of our will. Spectres bear a great burden, they are protectors of galatic peace, both our first and last line of defense. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold. You are the first human spectre, Commander._

"Is this some kind of sick joke, what the fuck is this? I’m already a Spectre, I remember being told that speech by the first council,"

She all but snarled at him, her body tense. She’d never forget that day, or that time. A time when arguing with the council was the least of her goddamn worries. The turian crouched in front of her, hands covering hers and watching as she flinched at that movement.

"You’ve been in a coma for a year,"

He started and she moved to cut him off, to say that she already knew that, before something in the intensity of his gaze made her stop and listen.

"It was a medically induced coma and it was part of a simulation. Spectre candidates are put through a simulation to see how they might react in certain scenarios. Some candidates don’t make the right choices and are pulled out earlier and they don’t become Spectres. But you… you finished the simulation, you’re now a full-fledged Spectre,"

His voice was quiet and his words were chosen carefully. Her hands were shaking. She didn’t understand. Her eyes were shut tightly, teeth biting into her lip so hard that it split open. Nihlus didn’t move.

"So… none of it…"

"None of it actually happened."


	3. Part III

In a second, she was up and pulling at the wires attached to her.

"Shepard-"

Her fist collided with his face and he stumbled back, hands reaching for anything to keep him stable as he watched her stumble, her hands trying to find any kind of grasp on the wall as her legs struggled to support her weight.

This was becoming an all too familiar scene.

She pushed herself up onto her hands and knees, trying to get back up before she felt him come up behind her.

"Don’t you fucking dare,"

She growled, her voice low. Low because her throat ached, because everything ached, because she remembered nothing.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! You stick people in a fucking simulation to ‘see how they’ll react’ so that they’ll pass some stupid test?!"

It takes no strength on his part to push her down and pin her as he straddles her from behind. He methodically cuffs her hands before standing up and pulling her up with him. No words are spoken as he begins to walk out of the room and down the hallway.

They reach a door.

He keys in a command and they walk into another white room. This one is larger, has to be at least two stories tall and is padded except for one wall; one massive window that looks out onto the Citadel. Her feet feel awkward as she stumbles barefoot over the floor before he unceremoniously drops her and she’s on her knees.

She snarls as he leans down to release her and he stops.

"You think you’re the only one that’s gone through this? I said every Spectre candidate goes through this, some make it further than others. I went through the exact same scenario as you did, with my team. We lost a year of our lives in a simulation, and everybody assumes you’re gone a year for Spectre training,"

His voice trails off as he takes a seat on the chair in one corner of the spacious room, turning his head to look out the window.

"Let’s go over what happened; who died during your simulation?"


	4. Part IV

Her eyes were wary as she looked at him, but he seemed adamant about not looking back at her. She didn’t have to ask which deaths he was talking about; the ones that weren’t part of her crew didn’t matter to him.

"Ashley Williams, Mordin Solus, Thane Krios, Morinth, Legion,"

She recited mechnically and she was mildly surprised that he wasn’t typing anything onto some sort of datapad. He hummed in agreement and shifted so that he was looking at her.

"They’re all alive. Well, with the exception of Legion, he was created by the simulation to be an embodiment of the geth for you to interact with,"

Her chest tightened at the memory of Legion. How she stood on Rannoch and successfully talked down both the quarians and the geth and foolishly believed she had reached a peaceful agreement.

"None of them have ever met you, however they did have to provide consent to be used in the simulation if they weren’t created by the program. If you happen to run into them in the future, they are aware that Spectres might recognize them. Aside from Legion, The Illusive Man, Kai Leng, Urdnot Bakara, EDI, Jacob Taylor, Miranda Lawson, and Grunt also do not exist. They were created to test you,"

The way Nihlus sounded, it was like he had said this over and over but Shepard knew there weren’t many Spectres in total. She wondered briefly if he had to tell this speech to every candidate and just recite it over and over, even if they failed.

"What about… what about Garrus Vakarian?"


End file.
